This is not my... Horoscope
Find out what destiny has in store for you this week by trying your star's chat up line…
Aries 21 March – 20 April
“Hi, I’m a tawdry slut looking for a good time.” |
|
Taurus 21 April – 21 May
“You, me and a midget makes three.” |
|
Gemini 22 May – 21 June
“So are you going to give me your phone number or am I going to have to stalk you?” |
|
Cancer 22 June – 23 July
“If you were a duck and I was a moose, And we had sex, we’d make a duckmoose, and it would sound like this (make the weirdest noise you can). |
|
Leo 24 July – 23 August
“I’m here! Out of interest, what were your other two wishes?” |
|
Virgo 24 August – 23 September
“You can’t be the first, but you could be next.” |
|
Libra 24 September – 23 October
“Let’s go to my place and do all the things I will tell everyone we did anyway.” |
|
Scorpio 24 October – 22 November
“I’ve got a big nose, big hands and really big feet…. I am a clown.” |
|
Sagittarius 23 November – 21 December
“You’re ugly, but you intrigue me.” |
|
Capricorn 22 December – 20 January
“This is incredible, It’s is the first time this has ever happened to us. (What?) Each one of my personalities find you cute.” |
|
Aquarius 21 January – 19 February
“What’s a nice girl/guy like you doing in a dirty mind like this?” |
|
Pisces 20 February – 20 March
“Be unique, be different… say yes." |
|
